[Personal] My long absence.

After the last Luminous post, I quit writing for a while. I quit doing most everything. I was about 30 weeks pregnant and my blood pressure was getting nuts. I was taking 1500 milligrams of labetalol a day. In fact, on March 18th, we went to labor & delivery because my blood pressure was 190/120 (despite the medications), and they determined I had preeclampsia. I spent two days in the hospital on magnesium sulfate and getting steroid injections to pump up baby’s lungs before he was delivered via c-section at 32 weeks and 6 days on March 20th, 2015, at 11:50 pm.

His name is Ben, and he was 7 weeks early, weighing only 3 pounds, 1 ounce. He spent the rest of those 7 weeks in the NICU and came home the day before both Mother’s Day and his anticipated due date.

He’s doing great now, as am I (though I’ve been struggling with postpartum depression and anxiety, but I’m finally getting better there, too). It was a long, scary, anxious time for all of us, but we’re a better family for it. We still have a lot of work to do to really be ‘better’, but we’re all healthy and looking forward to the future now.

Because of the complications and depression, writing fell to the wayside for a long time. It’s been difficult and a little scary to try and come back, but I want to, and I think I need to. So I’m starting here.

I plan to write a nonfiction account of my very scary delivery and the difficult aftermath, being ill while pregnant and having a baby in the NICU for two months. It was a lot we didn’t expect, and still a lot for me to process. I came away with a beautiful child that I love more than life itself, but I also find myself battling trauma and anxiety.

So that’s happening over at pressurestory.com. The website is helping me to organize my thoughts a bit, though it seemed a little backwards to start with a website when I wanted to write a book. Anyway.

I hope to keep up with that, and hope to come back to fiction, too. Thanks, and see you soon.

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